Hi It’s Biff and Julie – The Acme Chatters!
This post is Julie’s opportunity to vent a few rants.
Julie: So, here are a few things you probably don’t about me. I’m 33, single, never married, no children, employed, and self sufficient. I consider myself average looking… 5’6”, blond hair, blue eyes and you really didn’t think I would tell you how much I weigh…did you?… I’m thin. I’ve tried internet dating, telephone datelines and even a blind date or two. Some of these have turned into long term relationships but I just haven’t found mister right. I am beginning to think that I just don’t understand men.
Are men incapable of thinking about anything other then sex? I am sure that there are plenty of women who are willing to have sex on the first or maybe even the second date… I’m not one of them. I have gone out on several dates with guys who claimed to be looking for a long term relationship but who where ultimately just looking to hookup. Um…I would like to get know a guy first and even if I do like him and there’s chemistry I’m not looking for a one night stand.
I’m not needy….PLEASE don’t be either!! Have you ever heard a guy say that he is looking for someone that reminds him of his mother?? In my experience this seems to translate into I need you to take care of me like my mother did. Have you ever dated someone who wants or needs something all the time….uggghhh!!
I would consider myself very independent. I do enjoy spending time with the person I am dating but I also like spending alone time doing things that I enjoy. I once dated a guy named Bill that I swear would call me every five minutes when I chose to do something on my own….And oh boy, if I didn’t answer when he called he would blow up my phone. Control freak was a definite turn off and I ended things very quickly.
The dreaded B word…..BAGGAGE….which often leads….DRAMA!!
Pretty much everyone has some kind of baggage but really it’s all about how you handle your baggage.
It comes down to a little honesty which really does go a long way. Pretending to be someone you’re not or dropping that skeleton you have hiding in your closet on someone after you have been dating for a while sucks! I realize that some things aren’t first, second or maybe even third date conversations….sometimes they end up being deal breakers, and other times they don’t. Why waste your time and theirs especially if turns into being a deal breaker and now you have really started to like them.
Your ex is still stalking you or you are not over your ex….
If your ex calls you all the time or follows you around you might be ready to date but wait until things cool down or get a restraining order first. I went out on a date with a guy named Greg, great guy, psycho ex. They had a child together and had broken up 6 months before I met him. She showed up at the restaurant we were having dinner at. It was quite a scene…can you say DRAMA!! I know the drama wasn’t his fault and I told him to call me if and when things settled down. I guess it never did…that ended up being our first and only date.
If you find yourself talking about your ex all the time…..don’t torture a date to an evening spent listening to you go on and on talking about how much you miss your ex or how great they were. You aren’t ready to start dating again!!
I realize many of the things I discussed can apply to women just as easily as they do men.
I can’t wait to hear what Biff has to say in response….
Anyway, that’s all for now Julie.
Hi It’s Biff and Julie – The Acme Chatters!
We’re back!! Thanks Justin for your interesting thoughts. We will check in with Justin sometime in the future again for the gay man’s views on dating.
We wanted to talk a bit about lying in public ads on a dateline. Our comments would apply equally to chat greetings and on-line profiles.
Is it ever acceptable to out and out lie in your public ad? And if so what is and is not ok?
Biff: I think it’s ok sometime so long as it doesn’t hurt someone. A man pretending to be a woman is obviously wrong. We talked about that in an earlier post. Pretending to be a doctor or a lawyer when you aren’t probably is bad too.
Julie: The big lie is age. Supposedly everyone lies about there age and I just don’t think that’s right. You are what you are. Accept it.
Biff: I agree that if you shave ten or twenty years off your age it’s not right. But a couple of years seems ok. Especially if that’s what everyone else does. If I were 33 and said I was 33, everyone would think that I am forty. So I should say I am 29 and they will get it right that I am in my mid thirties.
Julie: I disagree. Just say that you are 33 and say that you mean it. If you simply don’t want to admit your true age you could say something vague like thirty-something or old enough to know better.
Biff: Yeah then everyone would think I was 60. There’s more to lying than saying something false. Sometimes failing to state something that is very important would be a lie by omission.
Julie: Like what?
Biff: Like not mentioning that you are currently calling from prison. I think that would be pretty relevant.
Julie: I guess I would agree there. Anyway I think you should be as honest as possible and let the chips fall where they may.
What do you think?
To conclude we are including a mini-post submitted by one of the Acme users – Sophie. Here’s what she has to say.
Hi, I’m Sophie. I’m a happily divorced mother of 2 grown kids. Both my kids have been out of the house for 3 years now, so for the past 3 years I have been living my dream life, doing whatever I want without having to answer to anyone. My divorce was finalized 6 years ago and I have not had a serious relationship since then, but it doesn’t mean I’m not looking!
I started using Acme chat lounge a couple years ago and have met some really interesting people. A couple I have met out for coffee, but I got to admit, I really use Acme chat lounge to have pleasant phone conversations – it’s just something I enjoy to do at night while relaxing at home.
Recently the Acme chat lounge has opened up so I have the option to chat with other people all over the country. And I love it. I live in Florida, have traveled all over the state…but I have never left the state. I have met 3 or 4 really nice guys in other states. 2 guys from New York, 1 guy from Alaska and another guy (who I call my neighbor) from South Carolina.
This is perfect for me, I have spent the past couple of weeks selecting a different state each night and then trying to find someone to chat up with! The accents are fun (especially my New York guys) and I have learned sooo much about Alaska! I’m having such a great time, really enjoying the variety of the people I’m meeting!
Thank you Acme, I feel like my circle of friends has expanded and gotten much more interesting because of you. Someday I hope to visit some of these guys I’ve met in the chat lounge, for now I’m enjoying pleasant conversation and learning about people all over our country!
Anyway that all for now from Biff and Julie – The Acme Chatters.
Hi this is Biff and Julie – The Acme Bloggers.
Hope you like what Justin had to say last week. Here’s his follow-up.
I am in one of those moods where I really want to be in a relationship. I called ACME and left the following message in their Men seeking Men category.
“My name is Justin. I am 22 years old, very good looking, swimmer’s build, just an all around nice guy. I have a lot of super friends, and a great life, but sometimes, I really think it would be nice to have a boyfriend. So, I guess, I would say, I am open to whatever happens. I am tired of the bars, and looking to meet a man who might also want a relationship if everything clicks. If you are a good looking, nice guy, preferably with a muscular hairy chest and you want to actually go on a date, a real date, then leave me a message. Age is totally open, but no retirees please. ”
After I posted that message, I went into to the ACME chat lounge. Within a few minutes, I had a chat request from a guy name John. We chatted for a while and he seems like a nice guy. We are going to chat again tomorrow night and see what happens….
So, I met that guy John from the ACME Chat Lounge for coffee tonight. He was really nice, and cute, but we just didn’t have sexual chemistry. Actually, I think we will end up being friends, because we have a lot in common, and there was never a lull in the conversation. They always say you can never have too many friends, and I believe that. Funny story though, I actually met a guy a few months ago who didn’t agree with that philosophy. We chatted on the phone a few times, and things seemed to click. We decided to meet for lunch (don’t do that, meet for a drink or coffee first before committing to a meal together). As soon as he showed up at the restaurant, I realized that he just wasn’t my type and I wasn’t attracted to him. We did have a fun lunch, and he was a nice guy, but I just didn’t feel a spark romantically. At the end of the lunch, he said he really like me, and would like to go on a date. I hate moments like this, but honesty is the best policy, so I said that I had a fun time, but just didn’t feel a spark, and would like to be friends. He actually responded, “Well, no thanks, I have enough friends.” Then he gets up and leaves. Some men are so immature.
After another bad date last night, I started thinking that someone should lay down a set of rules when it comes to dating. Here is my first attempt:
1) Shower before going on a date
2) Make sure your car is clean
3) Don’t have garlic at lunch before you have a date that night
4) Don’t talk about your ex on a first date (or second or third)
5) Show up on time
6) Don’t lie about your age
Thanks Justin. That’s all for this week. Thanks for all the comments you have been leaving. Keep em up.
Checking out. It’s Biff and Julie – The Acme Chatters.
Hello it’s Biff and Julie -The Acme Chatters
This week we introduce our first guest blogger – Justin. We’ll let him tell his story.
Hi boys. My name is Justin. I am a single 22 and a half year old gay man, and like so many young gay guys, I am looking for Mr. Right, I think. I say, I think, because I am having a lot of fun being single, but I also want to be in love. All of my older friends (who are in their 30’s and 40’s) keep telling me to relax, enjoy myself, experience life, and love will happen when I am ready. It is certainly not from lack of trying. I really put myself out there and am open to whatever happens. I am on the ACME Chatline and some unmentionable websites. I also go to a gay gym, gay bars, gay restaurants, and have a large inner circle of friends who constantly want to set me up with one of their friends. They always say it happens when you least expect it, and I am tired of hearing that. Maybe Mr. Right now would hit the spot, at least tonight. Gonna call ACME now and see who is in the mood to chat tonight. Happy hunting…I will update soon.
Tonight, I did not want to go out to the bars, or out to dinner, so I stopped by the grocery store, and bought some chicken and salad for dinner. I am so over going to the bars. There are always so many guys in the bars who are drunk, or worse, and I just do not want a guy who is a mess. Being so young, every time I go to bars, all these old men hit on me. Don’t get me wrong, I like a hot Daddy now and then, lol. What was I saying, oh yeah, I stayed home. So, after dinner, I started wondering who was on the chatline, so I called ACME. There were some nice guys, and like me, there was a guy who just wanted to have phone sex. So, we did, and it was really hot. Sometimes, it is easier and less hassle to just have phone sex. Fantasy is so cool, and you can make phone sex about whatever your heart desires. Hmmm… I think I will call again.
Dating can be totally exhausting. I feel like I have been on so many bad dates and I am only 22. Well, really I am 22 and a half. Last week, my friend Tyler set me up on a blind date with his boyfriend’s roommate. Tyler had pointed him out before in the gym, but I had never met him. He is a good looking guy, so I agreed. Well, let me tell you, it was a disaster. He came over to pick me up, and he smelled like he had been drinking. Then, when we hugged hello, he grabbed my ass. We were in the car on the way to dinner when I suddenly realized this was a mistake, and I didn’t even want to go to dinner with him. I asked him to pull over, and I walked home. I hate blind dates, especially when setup by a friend. Now, how am I going to tell Tyler that the date was awful, especially since he arranged it? Thanks, but no thanks, I will find dates on my own. Before going to bed that night, I called ACME and had an interesting chat with a cool guy before going to sleep. Stay tuned, we are going out this weekend.
We will hear back from Justin next week.
That’s all for now from Biff and Julie (and Justin) – The Acme Chatters.
Hi again! It’s Biff and Julie – The Acme Chatters
Well last week’s blog about some of the strange terms used on telephone datelines was popular, so we thought we’d discuss a few more terms that might not be obvious to everyone.
“Bi-Curious” – This refers to a male, who considers himself to be straight, but who has some sexual feelings towards other men. He’s not sure what it means, but he is “curious”. The term is equally applicable to women.
“Meet and Greet” – Originally this term comes from church socials where groups of people who probably don’t already know each other very well get together in a casual situation to get to know each other in non-threatening circumstances. When used by someone on a telephone dateline, they probably mean that they want to meet someone in casual circumstances without a lot of pressure. Maybe just a cup of coffee at the coffee shop. They are looking for less than a full-fledged date (although it might evolve into one). They are also not looking for a quick hook-up.
“No Strings-Attached Hookup” – They are looking for quick sex and don’t want to feel obligated to even call you again. If that’s not your cup of tea, then you can just skip right by him or her. At least they are being honest.
“Top” “Bottom” and “Versatile” – These are terms used by gay men. A top prefers to participate in anal sex in the active position. A bottom prefers to participate in anal sex in the passive position. If he’s versatile, he likes it both ways. If this doesn’t clear it up for you, do an internet search. That should remove all doubt.
QUESTION: MOST EVERY OTHER DATELINE SEPARATES OUT THE STRAIGHT PEOPLE FROM THE GAY PEOPLE. WHY DOES ACME MIX THE TWO GROUPS TOGETHER?
ANSWER: That’s a good question. From the beginning, Acme has had both gay and straight people working for it. As such, we do not feel as big a need to segregate people by sexual orientation. In the past, we have had separate gay versus straight systems, but the mixed systems proved to be more popular. Also, it is our impression that the number of people who are bi-curious (see definition above) and bisexual is far greater than most people realize. Some people like to cross back and forth across that nebulous line.
QUESTION: WHAT ARE ACME CREDITS?
ANSWER: Some chatlines and datelines require paid time to use any and all features on their system. At Acme, only a few features require Acme Credits – everything else is always free! If you have Acme Credits in your account and start to use a “paid” feature, the system will let you know when charges begin and when charges end. The system will also tell you how many Acme Credits you were charged. 200 Acme Credits equals 1 minute of time using a paid feature and it charges in 30 second intervals – we will never charge more than 200 Acme Credits per minute, but sometimes we may have specials where we will charge use less than 200 Acme Credits per minute – kinda like Happy Hour specials.
Biff: I heard rumor that there may be some Happy Hour specials coming soon.
QUESTION: I HAVE HEARD ABOUT SOME CHATLINES THAT ARE COMPLETELY FREE. HOW DOES THAT WORK?
ANSWER: One way that a telephone dateline can get revenue to pay its bills is to have the phone company pay them for generating calls. Before the prevalence of virtually unlimited cell phone minutes, when local and long-distance calls were metered, some phone companies would be willing to pay a very small fraction of a cent per minute just for having people use the telephone lines. With those arrangements they could make the entire chatlines totally free and pay for their costs with these phone companies fees.
Julie: I called one of those totally free chatlines recently and it was a horrible experience. It was busy all right, but filled with creeps. I created a vague chatline greeting because I really just wanted to listen to what was going on with the chatline. I was bombarded with constant chat requests from guys who couldn’t possibly know any more about me other than I was female. After ten minutes, I was so frustrated, I hung up. I didn’t want to talk to any of these guys and they wouldn’t leave me alone. You definitely get what you pay for with an all-free system.
Biff: One cool feature that we recently added to The Acme Dating Company, is window-shopping. When you first call into the system, instead of creating a mailbox and posting a public ad, you can just go onto the system anonymously and listen to public ads. You can’t send messages or participate because you really are invisible to everyone else and don’t have a mailbox. At any time you can create a mailbox and start participating.
Julie: It lets you listen in to who is on the system before you commit yourself to anything. And also, when you do create a new mailbox, if you are a first-time user, you get 1000 free Acme Credits (that five minutes of pay features).
Anyway, that’s all for this week.
Signing off. Biff and Julie – The Acme Chatters
Hi again! It’s Biff and Julie – The Acme Chatters
We’ve gone through several weeks of posts about chatlines and datelines and public ads. Some random questions have come up and we thought we would address them here.
QUESTION: DOES ACME OR ANY OTHER CHATLINES OR DATELINES HIRE PEOPLE TO CHAT WITH CALLERS TO MAKE MONEY FOR THE COMPANY?
ANSWER: No Acme has never hired anyone to chat on our chatline or send messages to other users. The money spent paying someone to do this would be far better spent on television ads or other ads. We have tens of thousands of users. A few more or less would make no difference at all. To the best of our knowledge, none of the other reputable chatlines and datelines hire actors or actresses either, probably for the exact same reason. The few companies that still do “phone sex” usually make it pretty clear what you are getting for your money and they charge for virtually every minute you talk with their actors or actresses. With all reputable chatlines and datelines you only pay for very limited activities and/or at a rate that couldn’t possibly compensate an actor. If that doesn’t convince you, call up the system and listen to some random public ads or chatline greetings. If we are paying actors and actresses for some of these messages, we sure aren’t getting our money’s worth. Actually now you can even listen on-line to the most recent public ads from callers in your area. Just go to the Acme Dating Home Page and click the box in the lower left corner. Or just click here.
QUESTION: I HEAR A LOT OF STRANGE ABBREVIATIONS AND TERMS IN PUBLIC ADS AND CHATLINE GREETINGS. WHAT DO SOME OF THEM MEAN?
ANSWER: Yeah there are a lot of strange abbreviations and terms out there. They don’t always mean the same thing to everyone and they can mean different things in different parts of the country. Here are five that might confuse you that have pretty much the same meaning across the country.
“D and D Free” – This means drug and disease free. Specifically it refers to not using illegal drugs and not having any sexually transmitted diseases.
“Box Me” – Send me a message to my mailbox.
“Hit Me Up Live” – Send me an instant message from the Acme Chat Lounge.
“We’re in the Lifestyle” – A term used by adults that regularly participate in swinging – that is sex with other people other than their own partner, often with their partner in a three-way or more way. We think you get the picture.
“On the Down Low” – Being very discreet about what you want to do. Often associated with straight men who are considering exploring their bisexual or gay tendencies or fantasies.
QUESTION: WHY ISN’T EVERYTHING FREE ON PHONELINES AND DATELINES LIKE IT IS ON SOME ONLINE INTERNET DATING SITES?
ANSWER: All phone and internet dating sites have costs. Chief among these are advertising, customer service salaries and, in the case of phone datelines, the actual cost of all of those telephone lines. Some of the Internet Dating sites can rely on revenue from web advertising to cover their costs. That model just doesn’t work for telephone datelines. There is no convenient place to put an ad and it would be hard to track its results. Telephone datelines started using 900 or 976 number billing, but that has all but disappeared in recent years. So to cover costs we make only certain features paid. That is to say, you need Acme credits to perform certain tasks. But everything else is free, including the most time-consuming activities – listening to public ads and public chatline greetings. Even internet dating sites have moved towards a paid model with subscriptions and membership fees. You get what you pay for when it’s totally free. Some amount of payment by customers acts as a screening device. It helps you know that they are taking it all seriously.
QUESTION:WHY DID YOU CHANGE THE APPEARANCE OF YOUR BLOG?
ANSWER: We liked the original appearance but found one we liked even better. We think it’s kinda cool and haven’t seen anyone else use it yet. We might change it again in the future, you know, keep everything fresh.
QUESTION: WE ONLY HEAR ABOUT DATING FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE. HOW ABOUT DIFFERENT PEOPLE’S POINTS OF VIEW?
ANSWER: You’re right. The whole dating world doesn’t revolve around Biff and Julie. So we have asked some friends to write guest blogs for us in the future. Justin will talk about gay men and their experiences and Karen and Steve will talk about people in the Lifestyle (see above for the definition of the Lifestyle). Look for them. Coming soon!
Anyway, that’s all for this week.
Signing off. Biff and Julie - The Acme Chatters
Hi there! It’s Biff and Julie – The Acme Chatters.
Last blog we presented some ideas on what makes for a good public ad. With a telephone dateline and chatline, the public ad is one of your most important selling features. Without a good public ad, your chances for success are greatly diminished. In this blog we want to present to you six public ads, both good and bad. These will be actual public ads that have appeared on the Acme system. We have changed the names and locations however to preserve people’s anonymity. Although we will be using men seeking women and women seeking men public ads, the general ideas presented apply across the board to the other categories of public ads.
Here’s our first sample ad from a woman seeking men:
“Hey guys I have been on this line for three months and haven’t found the right guy to hang out with. I am 38 years old from XXX. Very attractive in the face. I have green eyes medium length blond hair. Chesty, smaller waist and full-figured. I am not skinny and I am not huge. I am very kind and listen to young music. Dinners, movies, like a couple of drinks now and then. I like walks in the park. Seeking a single white male. Please be under 45 years old. No offense just don’t want to date someone in their fifties. I like slim guys, with their own place and car with a full head of hair, blonds a plus. I have children so you have to be ok with that. Please be mature. Leave your name and number and a time I can get back to you.”
Biff: I like this ad. She follows the two to one rule. She spends twice as much time describing herself in an appealing way and still sets out her preferences in a non-offensive way. Her restrictions seem reasonable. She sets out some things that she likes to do. This is an effective public ad.
Julie: I agree. Also I like the fact that she is upfront about having children without overemphasizing them. To some guys having kids is a deal-breaker. She can weed them out immediately and save herself and her potential dates time and awkwardness.
Here’s a second sample ad from a man seeking women:
“Good morning ladies. My name is XXX. I am a single, self-employed, semi-retired, Caucasian gentleman from XXX. I have returned to the system after a brief hiatus and am pleased by the new voices, different names and interesting ads. I hope the responses you are receiving are pleasing and sent with all sincerity. Myself, I enjoy many things but none more than spending quality time with a woman who is not only my best friend but who is also my very special lady. Could that be you? Are you 50 years young or above? Honest caring and sincerely looking for a gentleman to enjoy life with. Call leave your name and phone number in my mailbox. Let’s talk, get to know one another and begin this journey together. May God bless you.”
Julie: He sounds very sincere. He’s probably not what I would be looking for, but the right woman out there could be very happy.
Biff: And his sincerity really comes across when you actually listen to the ad. He speaks slowly, clearly and with obvious compassion.
Ok let’s look at some less than stellar public ads. Here’s an actual public ad from a man seeking women.
“I am looking for open-minded women, busty women for friendship with benefits.”
Biff: Yep that’s it. That’s all he said. He could have continued for a full minute, but that’s all he chose to say.
Julie: No woman is going to respond to that unless it is to tell him off.
Well women can leave bad ads too. Here’s one from a woman seeking men:
“Hi to all this is XXX and I’m calling from XXX and I am looking for a friend”
Julie: Name, location and nothing else. She had a full minute.
Biff: In going through the system to find these sample ads I was struck by something. It was hard to find a clear bad public ad by a woman but easy to find a good public ad from a woman. With men it was the exact opposite. Seems like the women intuitively know how to sell themselves. Food for thought.
Anyway, that’s all for this blog. Check in next time.
Biff and Julie - The Acme Chatters
PS – This just in. You can now listen to the most recent public ads from callers in your area. Just go to the Acme Dating Home Page and click the box in the lower left corner. Or just click this link Listen To Public Ads
Hi Everyone. It’s Biff and Julie – The Acme Chatters.
This blog is about how to post effective public ads on datelines and chatlines. The central feature of a dateline is the public ads boards. This is where everyone presents themselves to everyone else on the system. Each public ad has to be approved before it can be posted. The approval process is really just to screen out inappropriate behavior such as posting phone numbers or excessive vulgarity. We don’t screen for quality of ads. If someone wants to post a mediocre ad, we let them.
Biff: And I have heard some doozies!
The most important thing to start with is to take at least a little time to think about what you want to say and why. It seems so simple and yet few people appear to make the effort. We know that when you first try out the system you might not be ready post an ad. You can always go back and rerecord your public ad later. Also public ads, especially on busier systems, can fall off the public ad board fairly quickly. Each category of ads for each system is limited to approximately 100 public ads. We limit this to 100 because at an average of 35 seconds per ad it would take a long time to get down to ad#101. Your ad could become very stale and you wouldn’t realize why no one was responding to you anymore. So we make you rerecord after your ad falls off. You also have the option to just republish your exact old public ad if you remain satisfied with it.
So. What should you say in your public ad? Public ads are limited to one minute. That seems short, but its really enough time to get across what you want to say. Longer TV commercials are one minute. Many are 30 seconds or less. Start with your name (an alias or a nickname is fine) and where you are from. Perhaps include your approximate (or exact age). This serves as the “title” for your public ad.
Julie: I have heard several really cute nicknames. If you are creative you can reveal a lot about your personality, for good or for bad, in a short nickname.
You should spend at least twice as much time describing yourself and what you have to offer. No more than one-third of the public ad should talk about what you are looking for. If all you do is detail your wants and wishes, how will anyone decide whether they are interested in you? Here’s a list of potential items to discuss – your job, your hobbies, your looks, your passions, your physique, your hang-outs, your personality and your education.
Try to mention at least one unique, interesting and different thing about yourself. Something that will make you stand out from the crowd.
Biff: My claim to fame is that I have visited all 50 states. It probably hasn’t got me any dates, but it gives me something to talk about with almost anyone.
Finally its ok to mention what you are looking for. Try not to be too obnoxious. If you insist on a swimsuit model, you’d better have something to offer like six pack abs, a promising career or the most sparkling personality this side of the Mississippi. And don’t forget to tell her about it. She can’t see your biceps through the phone. It’s ok to have your preferences. Tall or short, old or young, with or without children, job, location etc. These are all ok. But remember, spend twice as much time selling yourself rather than excluding potential dates. If there’s interest you will have more than enough opportunities to get to know each other better.
Anyway, next blog we are going to discuss some actual public ads, both good and not so good (with names and specifics changed to preserve anonymity)
Biff and Julie – The Acme Chatters
Hi Everyone! It’s Biff and Julie again – the Acme Chatters.
In our last post we were talking about the differences, advantages, and disadvantages of phone datelines and chatlines versus internet dating. We got some feedback from you and have a few more thoughts on the subject.
Apparently people have had a lot more problems with fake pictures on internet dating sites then we anticipated. We heard a lot about people using a different person’s photo for their own profile. This seems to be a much bigger problem on free sites then on paid ones.
One especially horrible story involved a respected accountant who had a normal profile on a dating website. His profile included a clear face photo. Someone else was able to download the face shot and then created a fake profile adding in some really nasty photos that didn’t show his face. The fake profile then purported to be the accountant’s profile and they proceeded to make some really scandalous statements. The criminal then printed out a copy of the profile and sent it to the accountant’s business partners alleging that the accountant had created the profile himself. Fortunately the forger made so many ridiculous statements in the fake profile that anyone could see it was a hoax. Still it was frightening. A slightly better fake could have done a lot more damage. The accountant doesn’t use internet dating websites anymore. It is very easy to download someone’s photo from many dating sites.
Julie: The ability to steal photos is the one thing I really don’t like about the internet. It is actually really easy to do…that’s why I don’t post many photos online. I have even seen it happen on Facebook a few times.
Biff: One of my friends pointed out that with camera phones you can still see a picture of who you are chatting with if they have a camera phone too. It’s a lot more reliable if they take the picture right away and send it to you. It’s still possible to send a photo of someone else, but it’s more difficult. You can also be more certain that the picture they send is what they look like today….not eight years ago.
Phone datelines have problems with people pretending to be someone else. The most common hoax is men pretending to be women. This can be really annoying, especially if you had to use Acme credits to listen to the message. However, it is a lot harder to fake a voice then to fake a picture. Usually you can tell when it’s really a man.
Julie: Why do guys do that…I don’t get it??
Biff: I don’t know. Everyone gets their kicks from something different. Why are there bullies in high school? One advantage of a phone chatline is a certain amount of privacy and anonymity. This is important to many people. But also “bad apples” can hide behind this privacy wall to annoy other people. It’s unfortunate, but it happens.
Julie: Don’t forget, some women do have low voices so don’t jump to the wrong conclusion.
We spend a lot of time and energy at Acme trying to deal with these harassers. It’s definitely gotten better, but we probably can’t eliminate it entirely.
What should you do if this happens to you? Save the message in your mailbox and contact customer service. Authorize them to listen to the message in your mailbox. They can further investigate and when appropriate delete the mailbox of the harasser and credit you with Acme credits if you lost any because of the fake message.
Anyway, that’s all for this post.
See you again soon.
Biff and Julie – The Acme Chatters
Hi Everyone! It’s Biff and Julie again, the Acme Chatters. This week’s topic is telephone chatlines versus internet dating. Which one is better?
We both have a lot of experience with telephone dating and internet dating. The simple answer to the question is neither is better, they are different. The big difference between the two is the central “selling point”. On the internet the selling point is the PICTURE. Just try and get a date online without a clear picture. On the phone, the selling point is your VOICE.
Julie: Looks are important to me too but that’s only part of it. I need to find the guy attractive but I also need to know more about him… not just that his arms are huge and works out all the time. I can learn more from listening to a guy’s voice then a picture.
Julie: Well, I can’t tell the number of guys I’ve seen online that just must not care enough to find that one good photo. I’ve seen some really bad ones….
Biff: I can sort through a lot more women online. Over the phone it takes more effort to evaluate them.
Biff: One thing I like about using the phone is that I can get an immediate response good or bad using chat. Over the internet it can take a long time. You send out a message and don’t get a response for days.
Biff and Julie – The Acme Chatters